Passion, Purpose, Planning, and the Pressure of 25

I've come to terms with the fact that I may never be consistent with this blog. Life is moving fast and I'm more focused on being fully engaged in each moment than I care to broadcast it.

A lot has happened in my life in the year I've been away from posting. I started dating again and met the most patient man, whose name is Brian, whom I now live with. I stepped down from the high-pressure job I had and moved back to Memphis for the Summer. I spent time with old friends and family and immersed back into Memphis' culture. I've learned that rich Memphis culture is not just a part of my identity but the part I love the most. I moved back to Knoxville to be with Brian, and since have been adjusting to the raw vulnerability of someone being there to see you in every light.

This year has been the roughest for me yet. It's been very emotional- with the highest highs and the lowest lows I've yet to experience in my 25 years. There's heavy spoken pressure at 25, to be moving toward some goal- whether it be vocational or marriage or pursuit of your passion. You're expected to have figured out your purpose or at least to be nearing it and to have plans for the future... and I'm not there yet.

I wish I had a tidy, succinct conclusion that ties up all of these loose purse strings for you, but I don't.
Until next time-

Made New

I'm finally finding a rhythm in Knoxville. I am settled in my home. I have adapted to my new store and am starting to fall into the habit of successfully bending to the ebbs and flows of our inconsistent business. I am spending more time thinking of ways to build my team and grow team members individually. I am building friendships here and letting unhealthy relationships I've been holding onto die. I'm feeling good. Over the past few weeks, I've been picking back up some hobbies. I bought a couple of new books to read, some new crocheting supplies (yes, I am 100 years old..) and bought some small furniture pieces to refurbish.  I picked up a little chair and bedside table to strip and make new at goodwill about a week ago-

I started first with the chair, thinking I could finish it in a day. I was wrong. I began to take this little monster of a chair apart. It had over 70 screws- I kid you not- and 4 very worn bolts holding it together. After a trip to Target (because I didn't own a wrench), I began to strip the paint off of the frame which proved to be a harder process than I anticipated. By the time I got to this step, it was well after midnight. "Bump this crap. I'm going to bed." I said to myself (Note: The last thought was paraphrased for the young readers I have.) I woke up the next morning and looked at the pile of parts that only hours before made up an ugly, but functional chair. I began to reupholster the chair cushion and back with some fabric I picked up the day before. This part of the process comes easy to me, but let me tell you, it is not wise to pick a striped fabric when one is as obsessive compulsive as I tend to be. I then looked at the frame- partially stripped and sent a picture out to a couple of friends showing them the process (or lack there of) that I had made. I got back several replies of "Oh, I love it!" and "So shabby chic!" to where I convinced myself that I should just leave the half stripped frame as is. (Note: I am lazy.) I put the chair together with the newly upholstered cushions (which looked fabulous, IF I may say so..) took a step back and realized.... I hated it. I spent hours and hours working on this piece of furniture that I had a vision for, got lazy 3/4 of the way through and absolutely hated the end product.

This very long story of a chair that still is to become has a point. To me, this whole process mirrors how the great God of the universe works in our lives. He begins with a broken, ugly, tarnished piece with lots of potential for purpose and beauty and gradually strips us of what makes us ugly and makes us new for His purpose and His glory. And if you look in the middle of a project- maybe what you perceive to be the end- and it's still not pretty... God isn't done with you yet. To be completely transparent- I haven't really given my faith or God or theology in general much of a thought in the past year or so. I've been so busy building my own story, busying myself with work, that I've neglected to recognize God's hand in my life at all. God is so good to catch my attention in the slightest ways- to make Himself known through the extraordinary and the ordinary, I praise Him for the work He has done thus far and for the work to be done.


As for the chair, I'm going to take it apart once more and restore it to the vision I originally had for it.

Clarity

Not feeling much like myself these days but I'm starting to feel comfortable here in Knoxville. That's the strange thing about perpetually placing yourself in situations of discomfort- getting comfortable with the discomfort. The unsettled feeling that once stirred me to innovate and change to accommodate new situations is becoming my normal state. I think there is something to be said for normalcy. For patterns and predictability and consistency. It's true that growth  is expedited outside of your comfort zone, but slowed growth within the confounds of stability makes way for sanity. For clarity. That's what I'm yearning for these days- clarity.

I have recently had a bit of a hiccup at work. I feel like I've really been thriving vocationally this past year. It speaks to the unique opportunities I have had and to the intentionality of my boss, who has really invested in my growth with the company and has become a bit of a mentor to me. I love my job. Even in moments where I hate my job, there isn't anything else I'd rather be doing.  My position here is vastly different than it was at HHI. Although I was essentially doing the same job at that store, the needs of my team here  are vastly different.  It took a really hard conversation for me to realize that so it's been a pretty rough week of transitioning. I have since seen a lot of success  in the short time that I've been taking this different approach and  have realized how necessary that temporary feeling of failure was for me. So I have recently been issued a bit of clarity that way.


 I am absolutely thrilled to be home in Memphis next week and that I'll get to see my baby seestor.
And the following week I'll be soaking up some sunshine with friends in Hilton Head.
It's absolutely hysterical to think of the many many times I have cursed both places, saying that I'd never be back. It's pretty crazy how I've learned to love them both and better from afar.

Advice from a Single, Jesus-loving Feminist



 





Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and so there has been a recent influx of articles full of advice for single people (because clearly- we need help.) I'm not usually suckered into reading this type of literature, but the other night I opened a posting titled, "To My Former Single Self" a friend on Facebook posted. I read through several cliché points, such as "Don't just date to date" and "You can't change him or make him a better person." Then I got to #11-

Issues I have with this advice:
1. The author portrays feminists as people that "have little to no respect for men and belittle marriage." Feminism by definition is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." EQUALITY. Feminists don't promote supremacy of the female gender, we seek equality. We don't belittle men. We have the same respect for men as we do women.
2. The author also suggests that the feminist mindset is unhealthy, ungodly and defies God. She even goes as far to say that feminists are not "good" nor "Jesus-loving." Let's take a look at the passage in Ephesians that the author references, but the whole passage, not just the 2 verses that make her point.


21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

From this passage, what I'm understanding is that in a godly relationship, men and women are to submit to one another. Women are instructed to submit to their husbands. Husbands are called to love their wives as they love themselves. Sounds like a union of equality to me. I think God is honored in marriages that are a union of equality and mutual sacrifice modeled after Christ's sacrifice for the church.

From this single, Jesus-loving feminist: I encourage you to be a feminist and have male and female feminist friends. I encourage you to always read the whole passage in context. Heed your convictions and voice them.  I encourage you to not sit and wait for God to provide you a husband but to relish in the freedom you have before the sacrifices you will have to make in marriage and for your family. Travel. Make work a priority. Take time to figure out what your dreams are and learn more about yourself. Then when you meet the partner God has destined for you, praise Him for the blessing of lifelong companionship and for the experiences you got to have in the meantime.

Blank Page

 

The blank page between the end of a chapter and the start of a new one. That's where I'm at.

 

I feel like I've just begun to settle here in Hilton Head and I'm being uprooted again. It's bittersweet for sure. Hilton Head has been a thin but succinct chapter for me. It's hard to believe that it's coming to an end and I feel a need to close it well- to make sense of some greater purpose for having lived here.

 

Moving here was an easy decision. Staying through the discomfort of being completely out of my comfort zone was a hard one. I was angry with myself for not appreciating the comforts of community and security in Memphis. But through all of the uncertainty and loneliness, I've learned a lot about who I am... What I value... What my priorities are and should be. I've made good friends here. I've compacted years of work experience into a 6 month period. I'm up for my second promotion in less than a year. I'm well respected in my workplace. I'm thriving here... and now I'm moving once more into a place that is unfamiliar to me.

 

But just as God provided in Hilton Head, He will provide again in Knoxville and I am excited for the experiences to come. 

Coffee & prayer.

"When my world is shaking, heaven stands. 

When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands."

3 years ago today, I began listening to the song "Your Hands" by JJ Heller on repeat for a Multi-week period. I was just dumped by the man I was going to marry. I had isolated myself from all of my friends  during the relationship. I hadn't spoken to God, or even given Him a thought in over a year. I was alone.

Since that time, I have turned back to following the God I love more than any other. I have regained relationships due to undeserved grace from my friends. I am able to walk into a room of people alone in confidence. I am ok with the uncertainty of my future- location wise and vocationally. I have dated. I am ok with the fact that I'm currently not dating. I no longer find my identity in a significant other, but in Christ. And I still have a long journey ahead. 

This morning I woke up, made my coffee brought it back to bed and talked to God longer than I have in years. As a lazy Christian, it is so easy to say or think that God already knows the condition of your heart. He knows your struggles. He knows what you're thankful for. And honestly- it's true. God knows before we do. But sometimes God reaches out to me in my own prayer. In times of prayer, God helps me to understand the condition of my heart... What I'm struggling with... What I need to be thankful for. I'm so overwhelmed by the God of the universe that hangs on my every breath and romances me in moments of stillness- merely residing in His presence. 

I don't often reminisce. I'm much inclined to living in the present, sometimes even trying to in the future. But I know it is of great value to reflect on how God is working in me from time to time- to see the growth and be encouraged.

For how long will you mourn what God has deemed unworthy?

For how long will you mourn what God has deemed unworthy?

Heavy, right?

No, really. Take a second to consider the statement.

Within hours of my arrival on the island, I began mourning the loss of the comfort of home, my people there, and even material objects I left behind. This grief hasn’t dissipated the way I expected it would in the month and some odd days that I’ve been here.  I still miss friends. I still miss Memphis. I have even been missing past relationships.  (That one is hard to swallow...) To be clear, not all of these things are bad. However, I feel this incessant internal tension between pining for the comfort of home and well… comfort- and adapting to where God has placed me.

I feel a sense of purpose here. The lack of close friends or appointments has been apt for me to be still and listen to God. I’m learning a lot about where I need to grow and have even been given some opportunities just in the past month to exercise them. I’ve been blessed with a lovely condo to live in. I have found a church that I really like. I love my job have been entrusted with a lot more responsibility at this store. I live on an island, for Pete’s sake! (Well, really close to it, anyway.) So then, how am I able to be ungrateful? Comparison.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of all joy,” and I believe that to be true. Social media has become a drug to me here. I’m incessantly checking to see what’s happening at home,  what’s new in my friend’s lives- what I feel I’m missing out on. My first inclination was to delete all of my social media accounts. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Dare I even say Pinterest. Surely that would force me to be present in the now. But the issue isn’t a mere matter of accessibility. It’s a matter of my heart. I’m so anxious over being in control of every aspect of my life and eager to plan ahead that I was discussing moving away within a week of moving to Hilton Head. With that mindset, how could I possibly root myself here? 

It’s time for me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

It is time to open myself up and be fearless in connecting to this new city and the people that live here. 

It’s time to stop mourning what God has deemed unworthy and trust Him for what’s best ahead. 

A Beautiful Storm

The other evening as I left work, a storm was just passing. I'm not sure if this particular type of storm is common for the area, but I have never seen anything like it. Lightning was streaking through the clouds and illuminating the whole sky. I was talking to a friend in Memphis and told him that I wish he could see it because it was the most beautiful storm of my life. 

After the words left my mouth, the phrase resonated with me for a few days. "The most beautiful storm of my life." It sounds almost contradictory, but it's a matter of perspective. One can choose to look at the storm in a multitude of ways. 

- One can look at the storm in fear. The lightning could strike them at any moment. 

- One could let it ruin their day for lack of sunshine. "Comparison is the thief of all joy." 

- Or, one can view the storm for what it is- just a part of life. A rainstorm is not the most preferable weather to most, but it serves the purpose the Maker has given it just the same. To water the fields. To continue the life cycle... and in a beautiful display rather than just a normal drab rainy day.

The past couple of days I have been pretty busy between getting the store ready for the opening on Wednesday and with my on-going search for housing. It was very easy for me to want to stop and sulk over the housing I don't have, the friends and family I've left behind in Memphis, and the loneliness of this new place. Living in self-pity and sometimes even fear is really easy and comes rather naturally to me. However, I know that is not what I'm called to do as a daughter of the King. I am called to live my life according to it's purpose- to know God and make Him known. And when my eyes are not fixed on the Maker, I praise Him for providing a storm that leads me back to His arms. 

Where Feet May Fail

Hello All.

It has been quite a while since my last post and quite a bit has changed. I recently moved to Hilton Head Island, SC to open the new Whole Foods Market here. My boss, Ben, was offered a job here and asked if I would like to transfer as well. Who can turn down a job at the beach? After a lot of prayer and seeking guidance from friends and family, I made the decision in late May to move in mid-July. My roommate, Amanda, who also works for Whole Foods decided to move as well and we hurriedly planned a quick trip to Hilton Head to scope out the area and look for housing. So June 3-5, we came to Hilton Head with my best friends, Shea and Jason, for a very quick trip.

 Beach giddy.

These guys are seriously the best.

We scoped out the island and noted potential places to live. Let me tell you- finding housing in this resort town during tourist season is legitimately one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. (I'm still searching, but I know that God will provide the right place at the right time.) But the boys got some good beach time in and we spent the last day in Savannah, walking the absolutely stunning streets- lined with Live Oaks and rich in french architecture. We saw Paula Deen at her restaurant and ate an absurd amount of unhealthy food there. 

But, I digress... So, Amanda and I did not find housing before we left to come here. It was proving to be an impossible feat to accomplish from afar. We booked an extended stay from the 12th of July to the end of the month.That was the allotment of time we allowed to find permanent housing. Pulling into Bluffton (the inland suburb of Hilton Head) my car started to make a wretched noise. "Goldie Hawnda," as I call her, probably wasn't the best choice of vehicle to make the 650 mile drive. So, I called Dad and then took her to a shop. The A/C compressor was broken and it was going to cost $925 to fix- not at all an expected expense. The mechanic rigged it so that my car is drive-able, but air-conditionless for $100. (Much better.) 

Amanda and I went on and searched for housing, but were coming up with nothing feasible. It turns out that most condominiums and apartment complexes in the area do not take dogs because of sand fleas, which I hadn't known to exist until recently. A few more hiccups arose in the search, and ultimately, on Monday of this week, Amanda decided that this wasn't the right time for her to make this big of a move. She returned home on Tuesday. 

Coming out to Hilton Head, I prayed over the move incessantly. "Oceans" by Hillsong United became my anthem. 

The bridge of the song says:

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders.

Let me walk upon the waters-

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,

and my faith will be made stronger,

in the presence of my Savior.

I prayed that God would use this move as a means to draw me to rely more on Him. 

I prayed that God would provide (housing) for us in a way that would reflect that it was His provision 

I prayed that God would "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander" and He has done just that. 

The struggle is real, guys. But so is my God and He is good. He will triumph and when I do have a house, this glorious life He has given me will reflect Him. 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters.

Your sovereign hand will be my guide.

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me,

You've never failed and you won't start now. 

Sufficiency in Christ

I called the seminary that I applied to yesterday afternoon and once again, heard the voicemail message. Frustrated and anxious, I drove down Union Avenue toward work. My phone rang. I fumbled looking for it in my passenger seat. I answered, "hello?" The man on the other end was the dean at the seminary. He said, "We will unfortunately have to decline your application at this time..." and went on to explain why and give me advice on what to put in my application for the Spring.
...
...

My heart began to sink as my greatest fear throughout this application process was realized. I'm not good enough. I'm insufficient for ministry because of the sins of my past and the seminary staff's judgement of my current faith. Maybe I'm not called to ministry. Once again, I don't know what I'm going to do, or even what I'd like to do, vocationally. Why is this happening to me?

And not even five minutes into this whirlwind of emotion and distress, I cry out to God in gratitude.
Because I know that this attitude of self-pity is not glorifying to God and the fastest way to change it is to give praise. "Thank you Lord for your direction- for closing this door and steering me in the direction of Your will."

He loved me at my darkest. 

He sent His son to cover my sins. 

I'm made sufficient through the blood of Christ. 

I trust God's will for my life.

His plan > mine.

Also, through this I have received an out-pour of love and support from my church community, family, and friends. God has blessed me greatly by each one of you. <3

Documentation

The other day I had a conversation with my roommate about our generation's obsession with documenting every moment of life. That's the premise of social media. Here's a single page that lists where I was born, who my family is, where I went to school, my profession, my spouse- when we met, our first date, the proposal, the wedding, honeymoon, our four kids births, their marriages, our grand kids, our vacations, our move to the retirement home- all the way up until we pass on from this life to the eternal. Why?
I told her that I thought this was a silly notion- to think that someone will care that I went to a college preview weekend in February of 2009. Who's going to look at that at all, much less care about it?

My great-grandfather passed away last evening. It was his 88th birthday and he died in a hospital room packed full of people that loved him dearly. He had been in the hospital for the past two weeks. We all kind of came to terms with what was to happen, but you're never really ready. My grandmother was talking about how hard it was to think of him as he was when he was healthy since we had all spent so much time with him at the hospital- looking really sick and acting out of character. So I dug up some old family photos- of him during WWII, with my great grandmother and my grandfather as a boy. I saw pictures of the mess hall at his station in Germany, a family picnic in Biloxi in aprox. 1950, of my great-grandmother in really cute old swimsuits, his kids at various ages, his first car, pictures of his house in Biloxi, and of the condo he bought in Memphis just 8 years ago, pictures of his friends in the service, of his friends at the retirement community, his wife Wilda. And not once did I think, why'd he take all these pictures? Who cares? I felt honored and privileged to see the world as he saw it, one snapshot at a time, To see the ones he loved as he saw them.
So now I get it. I recognize how awesome is it that we have an opportunity to share our lives with one another in the present. What a gift!

Taking a Step and Falling

Much has happened since my last post. I started the job I last mentioned, and since then, have quit. Restaurants are a hard environment to work in, y'all. I applied for a full-time position within a bakery in a health food market and was re-directed to another part-time position by the supervisor. It sounded promising- more hours, more money per hour, more opportunity for advancement. I felt stuck at my current job- like I had topped out and it was time to progress. So after my fourth interview at the health food market, and what I thought was an implied expectation for being hired (as I was over-qualified, He talked about a start date, and talked money with me,) I put in notice at my job. My boss was really sweet and offered to match the rate at which they would pay me, but I declined. During this process, I had been looking into a discipleship program, and a couple of seminaries- so I was reading a book called King's Cross by Tim Keller. What really stuck out to me was a chapter called The Call. The chapter was about how your pursuit of knowing, loving, resembling, and serving Christ must be the supreme passion of your life.


If you say, "I'll obey you, Jesus, if my career thrives, if my health is good, if my family is together," then the thing on the other side of that if is your real master, your real goal. But Jesus will not be a means to an end; He will not be used. If he calls you to follow Him, He must be the goal. (p.19, King's Cross)


I considered this notion and rationalized that praying for this particular job or a particular school, instead of God's will for me, would be placing the job/school higher. So, I prayed that His will be done and that I would be given a clear answer as to whether or not this job would lead me in the direction God was calling. God answered. I was given a particular day that I would hear from the bakery supervisor. I never heard from him. Over a week past that date, I asked my friend who works at the market and she said that they decided to hold off on filling the position at all, as it may not even be necessary. Now, the position I has expected to get, wouldn't allow me the flexibility to go to the discipleship school and would make it difficult to go to seminary. I'm not going to lie- I was still disappointed. I knew that my boss would let me continue to work, but it was a big shot to my ego. I was over-qualified, I thought. Why was God holding me back in the same place I have been in for over 2 years?

Well, a few days after I told my co-worker, Brandi, that I didn't get the job, my boss came to me and offered me a full-time position- baking. Not managing shop, not helping customers, baking- my favorite part of my job. As if that wasn't enough, I also get to pick what times I come in and work... which opens  my schedule up a lot and gives me the perfect flexibility for going to school. So, now we know that God is calling me 1. Into working in some sort of ministry and 2. to go to school of some sort. Not sure where yet- but I for sure feel called to getting educated, whether it be the discipleship program, where I would get a more solid biblical foundation, or to finish my undergraduate degree.

I took a step, blind- and fell, but God carried me through it into taking the next.
So here goes...

God's grace and peace to you all in the coming week. -- Lucy

Inching toward His plan

This week I have felt incredibly blessed.

As of lately I have felt incredibly burdened with figuring out what "the next step" should be since I quit going to school. My lease is up in June and I need to figure out 1. Where I am going to live; 2. What is going to be my "goal" to work toward; and 3. What steps I need to take to make it happen. I came up with a couple of feasible options, none of which really felt right at the time. 

So, I went up to Hope last Tuesday morning to help set up for YAC and spent the day in Cordova to save some gas money. While I was at Hope I talked to one of the leaders of YAC, Molly, about my frustration and outlined my options. After lunch I went to Starbucks and ran into the Marriage and Family pastor, Freddie. He asked what I was up to and I told him I was just trying to figure out what to do with my life- halfway joking- and he sat down and talked to me about it. That's not in this mans job description. I didn't even know that he knew who I was. This one gesture has made my "mega-church" church home feel so very quaint and approachable. My good friend from YAC came and met me at Starbucks shortly after. He knew about my frustration with the situation and just said "The fact that you're thinking about it (some kind of mission work) shows that you must desire it in your heart." In my heart? What is that? Some lovey-dovey phrase I'm not interested in... So I thought. 

So, I went back up to Hope and prepared for the service. Worship was incredible... as usual. One of the things I love about our service right now is the genuine out-pour of worship from both the band and congregation. Jim came up and spoke about listening for God- how to listen and how God speaks to us. In the sermon a couple of points really stood out to me:

Life is not about a to-do list. It's about a relationship with Jesus Christ- taking up your cross and following Him.

The bible is full of ordinary people being used by God to do extraordinary things.

We have been designed for God to speak to and through us.

Your gifts and talents often indicate the direction God has for you.

In order to hear God, we need to trust God- this doesn't mean just trusting God in what He's going to do through you but what He's going to do within you as well.

So, after the message, Jim gave us time to sit and listen to God. Through my prayer I recognized that what I truly desire is to serve God in a tangible way- to meet someone's physical needs. 

No, I haven't discovered exactly what this means and I haven't uncovered God's plan for me...

but I feel like through this discovery of my desire to serve, I'm inching toward it and that is SUPER exciting and relieving. Apparently, anyone that has known me for any amount of time has seen this in me, but I had been blinded to it. So my friends have been very unimpressed with this discovery, but nevertheless!

On another note, I have been struggling financially lately. Working at a frozen yogurt shop in the winter is rough. Luckily, some tight budgeting and a perfectly timed holiday and birthday enabled me to skim by. So, I've been praying for God to open doors for a new job and not only has that happened but business at work has started to pick up (pre-maturely) and I have been able to work more. So praise Him for answered prayers! My new job is at a restaurant my boss is opening on Madison. It will be awesome to have a change of pace and atmosphere is addition to what I'm comfortable with.

Grace and peace to you guys in the upcoming week! :)
lucy

One Day I'll Learn

You know the saying, "When God closes one door, He opens another?"

Yeah, well I was a little skeptical, but BOY was I naive.

A few months ago, I applied for a full-time baking job at one of the most well-known bakeries in town. I had frequented this establishment for years, knew the staff and owner, loved the product, and long story short-
I was led to believe that I had a shot and then got dumped in an e-mail.
Ouch.

So, for a few months now I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself until this past week. A good friend of mine gave me a book to read on fasting and stumbled upon this-

This passage of the book might as well have punched me straight in the windpipe. It reminded me of a sermon that my old youth pastor gave at a D-Now back in 2008. The theme for the weekend was "Work Hard" as if you are working for the Lord in all that you do. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I had been hardcore slacking at work. I didn't like it. I didn't want to be there. I was a terrible example to the staff under me... and I'm still not the best. But one of my coworkers asked me why I was different this past Valentine's week. I had worked 16 hours of an 18 hour day and still had a smile on because I knew that this "axe that I carry" is going to carry me to where God has planned for me to be... and that's what I told her and lately I've seen that her attitude has changed at work too.

Today I got several unexpected phone calls- about 3 different full-time baking jobs... and another opportunity at a restaurant opening in the next few weeks. So, I have some interviews to go to and a WHOLE lot of praying to do. When God closed that one door, He opened four others. It's so awesome how God works for us, and through us.

Lucy

Weekend in the ATL

This is going to be a quick one, so here goes:

Things I learned in Atlanta this week-
1. My parents are infinitely cooler than I give them credit for.
2. The CNN Center is in ATL. No, I don't watch the news, but this means I was possibly in the same city as the ultimate silver fox, Anderson Cooper, whom I love so much that he may one day be the namesake of my future son. Just kidding... but really :)
3. I absolutely love IKEA as much as I always knew that I would.
4. One can spend copious amounts of money on random items in IKEA that only individually range from $.99 to $3.99.
5. H&M is not all that it is hyped up to be.
6. Where Passion City Church gets its name, which leads me to...

Things I learned at Passion City Church this Sunday-
1. PCC is passionate about worship, ministry, it's causes (End It Movement), reaching Young Adults in ATL, and ultimately and most importantly- about reflecting Christ.
2. Chris Tomlin and David Crowder are amazingly talented. I've been reading Tomlin's books and listening to these guys since middle school so I guess I forgot how effective they are in leading worship. It really made me miss our old praise team. Leading worship during Primetime at BHBC (WAY back in the day,) was one of my first service outlets and I just thank God for what He did in me through the community there.
3. I should really just jot down all of my sermon notes because Louie Giglio is LEGIT, but in summary of his sermon:
Uninhibited worship is a reflection of one's wide-open awareness of what all God has done for us. Uninhibited worship glorifies God.
Glory is God's infinite and intrinsic weight and worth. It is lofty, mysterious, and emanates from God.
God and His glory are the thread connecting each of us to all of eternity. His glory connects all that was, is, and that is to come.
Grace connects us with the glory of God, without which would be unattainable.
When we fulfill our passions and gifts, we sync with the glory of God.
In order to worship God effectively and without inhibitions, we must reduce ourselves to a mere speck beneath the thread of God's infinite glory. 

Heavy stuff, right? It was a great experience and really made me excited for what we are trying to do in YAC right now. Hope everyone else had a great weekend as well!

Happy Monday!
Lucy

22 years young

Today I rang in my 22nd year of life. I had some time alone to reflect this morning and a time to be alone with God- thanking Him for all that He has done within me over the past year. I spent time with good friends and had the chance to serve again at Tuesday night YAC. It was really an ideal day.
At 22, I don't feel young. I don't feel old. I just feel ready... ready to do something bold but I'm not sure what. I'll be looking for opportunity.
Thank you to everyone who called or texted, facebooked, or met with me today. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel loved.
Lucy

#Blessed

First off, let me just take a moment to say how amazed I was with the turnout to the launch of our Tuesday Night service this week. We, as the core team, have been planning and praying for months for this service and even through this I had some doubts about what we were working toward. I feared that our efforts would be fruitless, but I really think this was the devil trying to discourage me. God came through and delivered more people than I could have ever imagined- 160 for our first service. I nearly broke down and cried during worship just from seeing His plan accomplished and a people thirsty for the message. It was incredible and reignited the excitement I had for the service initially. The worship and teaching was so empowering and I could really feel God's presence and hand over us. I can not wait for next week! If you're in your 20s or 30s you need to make it out to Hope at 7:00 on Tuesday. (Hollering at you, Sarai :)) Follow us on Facebook (Hope Young Adult Community) and Twitter (@HopeYAC #tuesdaynights) for more info and upcoming events.

This leads me to my second reason for this post...

God has really been revealing to me the importance of recognizing the devil. It is pretty natural for me to think of the battle over sin with God to be attributed to solely myself, and after discussing it with a few people far wiser then myself, I am certain that this must be part of how the devil gains footing within us. A few of these people enlightened me to plan for doubt and temptations- ways the devil stakes claim- for when we feel like this the devil is trying to reclaim us from where we stand close to God. I am currently reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. It is written from the perspective of the screwtape (devil) to his nephew and through his advice to claim the souls of his clients (us), one learns more about his/her own human nature as well as the nature of the devil. It is pretty difficult for me to interpret honestly, but I have been breaking it down and learning a lot. 

I have been so blessed as of late to be surrounded by friends who have been building me up and encouraging me. I feel like I have learned more and grown spiritually in the past few months than I had in the past year. Also, just in- Hope has also hired on a full-time pastor just for our community (who will start in a few weeks) which is another answer to our prayers. God is SO GOOD. :)

You guys have a good weekend!

Lucy

YAC Attack... via Facebook.

So this video has been blowing up Facebook all morning by me and other members of our young adult community at Hope. My good friend (whom I must add is INCREDIBLY talented) Jason Lee made this video highlighting the city of Memphis. We have been praying for the young adults in our city over the past month or so. It is our hope that young adults across the whole city of Memphis come together to join our community in this new Tuesday night service that we are starting up in January. Please join us in praying for our community and our city... and watch the video. It's good stuff!

(Also, a wee little side note- I have a job interview today for a full-time baking position so PLEASE lift this sister up in prayer. This would be an awesome opportunity for me to get my feet wet in the baking biz!)

Thanks guys
-L

Help is on The Way

Colossians 1:13-14

 ¹³ For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, ¹⁴ in Whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

In my bible study tonight I was really drawn to this verse. Within the context, Paul and Timothy are saying that because of God's great love for us (His redeeming love) we should pray for and encourage one another. However, I could not help but think, how true is it that we still dwell in a world under the "dominion of darkness?" This past weeks events- the school shooting in CT and shooting of two police officers here in Memphis- make it easy to see that the darkness of this world is very real and near to us. 

It saddens me how nonchalant I have become in hearing these tragedies. I no longer am shocked by them because they are all too familiar. The local news features story after story of murders and civil unrest. So when I heard about the school shooting I did not mourn. Instead, the man that went into the school and shot those children and teachers and the man who shot the police officers fulfilled my expectation- that I will be continually disappointed by humanity. 

There is light in this darkness, though. Jesus Christ has rescued us from our sin and will one day come rescue us from the darkness of this world. But for now He offers us a peace over the havoc. Facebook was blown up with one status update after another calling for our King to come. That brings me hope- that our generation of believers leans into Christ and on one another amid tragedy. I am so grateful for the peace that God gives us and that the body of Christ is strong and uplifting, and I pray for the families of all those affected by the events this past week.

Don't forget to love on people. (This is really me telling myself.)

Lucy

Whoa there...

It's already December 13th!
Holy cow. This month is going by SO quickly and I have not been on the ball in the slightest. I only have one Christmas present purchased!

I haven't been working a whole lot here lately so I've done some knitting and organizing in our apartment. Our young adult community is in the middle of some changes. We're gearing up a new service on Tuesday nights starting in the new year that is aimed at reaching young adults across the whole city of Memphis. So that is exciting and I've been working with one of my friends on our little "coffee/snack team." I'm really excited to be involved in the changes and here for the beginning of what I think is going to be a really great event for people my age. God has been working a lot in me this past year and I am just happy to have an outlet for service until Multinational starts back in February.

I have decided to take a break from college. I am really burned out between work and school and at this point I don't know what I want to pursue as a career goal. Therefore, I am taking some time to pay back some of my student loans and really delve into discovering the way I am meant to fulfill God's purpose for my life. I feel Him drawing me out from where I am and into something new and this is my leap of faith into the unknown. It's exciting and a little scary but I know that I am in God's hands and that He will provide.

In other news, Mary and I ran the Ugly Sweater 5k this past Saturday. It has been unseasonably warm this winter so it was really fun to get out and see people decked out in their Christmas gear. It was my first 5k and it was untimed (thank goodness!) but we had a lot of fun.

Saturday was also the day of our YAC Christmas party. It was good to hang out and Jackie made these AMAZING stuffed mushrooms. (I'm such a foodie- yes. Food is always my focus.) So, it was a busy weekend!

My baby seestor is coming in town in a week and I am SO excited. I haven't seen her since September and I have missed her so much. It's crazy how much closer we've become the past couple of years. But I am getting my apartment ready for her to come stay with us. My tree has been up for about a month now.