I married the guy I had been with for 4 years up until recently and realized it was the biggest mistake of my life within minutes of leaving the wedding. Then I woke up (still in the dream) and saw the tulips that were my bouquet in my dream wedding and threw them away rejoicing in the fact that it was all a dream. Then I realized that I wasn't home but at my really good friend's apartment and he comes in and says good morning Mrs. So-and-so. I panicked and that's when I really woke up and I realized that I am SO not ready to get married.
I have had over a dozen people I know get engaged in a 2 month period and it has been driving me nuts. Mainly because these people are getting married to their significant others and they dated for way less time than my ex and I had. I thought maybe I was jealous because I want to get married, which there is some partial truth to- I can't wait to be a wife/mom. So I've been praying that my husband would pursue me and that our relationship would have a foundation in Christ. Twice recently, I've had a really great guy, rooted in Christ, who I've developed a friendship with, went on dates with, but it has been fruitless. But now I'm starting to see that I need to change my prayer. I don't need a guy to pursue me right now. I'm NOT ready in the slightest to get married. 1 Corinthians says, "An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband (v. 33-34)." I should be thankful that I have this time to deepen my relationship with God and then at the right time, the predestined guy will follow. I'm now trying to focus on giving up control of my life- all aspects- to God and trust in His plan for my life.
On a side note- I actually ran again yesterday. I'm keeping up with the couch to 5k dealio. Which is exciting because I've never had very good follow through on workout plans. :)
It's almost the weekend! Yay! -Lucy
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