Made New

I'm finally finding a rhythm in Knoxville. I am settled in my home. I have adapted to my new store and am starting to fall into the habit of successfully bending to the ebbs and flows of our inconsistent business. I am spending more time thinking of ways to build my team and grow team members individually. I am building friendships here and letting unhealthy relationships I've been holding onto die. I'm feeling good. Over the past few weeks, I've been picking back up some hobbies. I bought a couple of new books to read, some new crocheting supplies (yes, I am 100 years old..) and bought some small furniture pieces to refurbish.  I picked up a little chair and bedside table to strip and make new at goodwill about a week ago-

I started first with the chair, thinking I could finish it in a day. I was wrong. I began to take this little monster of a chair apart. It had over 70 screws- I kid you not- and 4 very worn bolts holding it together. After a trip to Target (because I didn't own a wrench), I began to strip the paint off of the frame which proved to be a harder process than I anticipated. By the time I got to this step, it was well after midnight. "Bump this crap. I'm going to bed." I said to myself (Note: The last thought was paraphrased for the young readers I have.) I woke up the next morning and looked at the pile of parts that only hours before made up an ugly, but functional chair. I began to reupholster the chair cushion and back with some fabric I picked up the day before. This part of the process comes easy to me, but let me tell you, it is not wise to pick a striped fabric when one is as obsessive compulsive as I tend to be. I then looked at the frame- partially stripped and sent a picture out to a couple of friends showing them the process (or lack there of) that I had made. I got back several replies of "Oh, I love it!" and "So shabby chic!" to where I convinced myself that I should just leave the half stripped frame as is. (Note: I am lazy.) I put the chair together with the newly upholstered cushions (which looked fabulous, IF I may say so..) took a step back and realized.... I hated it. I spent hours and hours working on this piece of furniture that I had a vision for, got lazy 3/4 of the way through and absolutely hated the end product.

This very long story of a chair that still is to become has a point. To me, this whole process mirrors how the great God of the universe works in our lives. He begins with a broken, ugly, tarnished piece with lots of potential for purpose and beauty and gradually strips us of what makes us ugly and makes us new for His purpose and His glory. And if you look in the middle of a project- maybe what you perceive to be the end- and it's still not pretty... God isn't done with you yet. To be completely transparent- I haven't really given my faith or God or theology in general much of a thought in the past year or so. I've been so busy building my own story, busying myself with work, that I've neglected to recognize God's hand in my life at all. God is so good to catch my attention in the slightest ways- to make Himself known through the extraordinary and the ordinary, I praise Him for the work He has done thus far and for the work to be done.


As for the chair, I'm going to take it apart once more and restore it to the vision I originally had for it.

Clarity

Not feeling much like myself these days but I'm starting to feel comfortable here in Knoxville. That's the strange thing about perpetually placing yourself in situations of discomfort- getting comfortable with the discomfort. The unsettled feeling that once stirred me to innovate and change to accommodate new situations is becoming my normal state. I think there is something to be said for normalcy. For patterns and predictability and consistency. It's true that growth  is expedited outside of your comfort zone, but slowed growth within the confounds of stability makes way for sanity. For clarity. That's what I'm yearning for these days- clarity.

I have recently had a bit of a hiccup at work. I feel like I've really been thriving vocationally this past year. It speaks to the unique opportunities I have had and to the intentionality of my boss, who has really invested in my growth with the company and has become a bit of a mentor to me. I love my job. Even in moments where I hate my job, there isn't anything else I'd rather be doing.  My position here is vastly different than it was at HHI. Although I was essentially doing the same job at that store, the needs of my team here  are vastly different.  It took a really hard conversation for me to realize that so it's been a pretty rough week of transitioning. I have since seen a lot of success  in the short time that I've been taking this different approach and  have realized how necessary that temporary feeling of failure was for me. So I have recently been issued a bit of clarity that way.


 I am absolutely thrilled to be home in Memphis next week and that I'll get to see my baby seestor.
And the following week I'll be soaking up some sunshine with friends in Hilton Head.
It's absolutely hysterical to think of the many many times I have cursed both places, saying that I'd never be back. It's pretty crazy how I've learned to love them both and better from afar.

Advice from a Single, Jesus-loving Feminist



 





Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and so there has been a recent influx of articles full of advice for single people (because clearly- we need help.) I'm not usually suckered into reading this type of literature, but the other night I opened a posting titled, "To My Former Single Self" a friend on Facebook posted. I read through several cliché points, such as "Don't just date to date" and "You can't change him or make him a better person." Then I got to #11-

Issues I have with this advice:
1. The author portrays feminists as people that "have little to no respect for men and belittle marriage." Feminism by definition is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." EQUALITY. Feminists don't promote supremacy of the female gender, we seek equality. We don't belittle men. We have the same respect for men as we do women.
2. The author also suggests that the feminist mindset is unhealthy, ungodly and defies God. She even goes as far to say that feminists are not "good" nor "Jesus-loving." Let's take a look at the passage in Ephesians that the author references, but the whole passage, not just the 2 verses that make her point.


21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

From this passage, what I'm understanding is that in a godly relationship, men and women are to submit to one another. Women are instructed to submit to their husbands. Husbands are called to love their wives as they love themselves. Sounds like a union of equality to me. I think God is honored in marriages that are a union of equality and mutual sacrifice modeled after Christ's sacrifice for the church.

From this single, Jesus-loving feminist: I encourage you to be a feminist and have male and female feminist friends. I encourage you to always read the whole passage in context. Heed your convictions and voice them.  I encourage you to not sit and wait for God to provide you a husband but to relish in the freedom you have before the sacrifices you will have to make in marriage and for your family. Travel. Make work a priority. Take time to figure out what your dreams are and learn more about yourself. Then when you meet the partner God has destined for you, praise Him for the blessing of lifelong companionship and for the experiences you got to have in the meantime.

Blank Page

 

The blank page between the end of a chapter and the start of a new one. That's where I'm at.

 

I feel like I've just begun to settle here in Hilton Head and I'm being uprooted again. It's bittersweet for sure. Hilton Head has been a thin but succinct chapter for me. It's hard to believe that it's coming to an end and I feel a need to close it well- to make sense of some greater purpose for having lived here.

 

Moving here was an easy decision. Staying through the discomfort of being completely out of my comfort zone was a hard one. I was angry with myself for not appreciating the comforts of community and security in Memphis. But through all of the uncertainty and loneliness, I've learned a lot about who I am... What I value... What my priorities are and should be. I've made good friends here. I've compacted years of work experience into a 6 month period. I'm up for my second promotion in less than a year. I'm well respected in my workplace. I'm thriving here... and now I'm moving once more into a place that is unfamiliar to me.

 

But just as God provided in Hilton Head, He will provide again in Knoxville and I am excited for the experiences to come.